My boyfriend always starts kissing my neck and taking my clothes off and then stops and says “no Shelly! I’m not ready!” And its the goofiest thing ever hes so silly
What if Gordon Ramsay voiced a GPS
"Great job, you missed the exit you fucking disgrace."
I want to kill myself soon, should I do it? I'm tired of everything... help:(
Okay look, i’m going to sound blunt here, but to everyone out there who is struggling with suicidal thoughts/tendencies, don’t message someone on tumblr. Go out there and get professional help, tumblr is the worst thing for suicide advice. A lot of people will ignore your plea for help, others will tell you to just “harden up” and occasionally you’ll get people just being plain rude to you about how suicide is “selfish.” You need to talk to your relatives or a close friend and ask about getting professional help, because tumblr isn’t going to help you live, me saying “it gets better” or “things don’t stay this way forever” isn’t really, truly going to help, professional help however really does help, so much. So please, I urge you anon and other people who have struggles with the same thoughts and tendencies need to seek help from someone who can truly help you. Please be safe and seek professional therapy
Nice things to whisper when hugging someone
-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this
If you drink 5 fifths of alcohol does that mean you consumed one alcohol?
If this gets 100 notes I’ll find out personally
Lol five wittle bottles of crown will do it
when a dog is sitting in a car they probably don’t realize a person is making it go… they probably just think they’re riding a magic cushion
I haven’t felt this low in so long